Over the past 3 1/2 months, I have become totally absorbed in Omani family life. This has involved an interesting progression of emotions.
I started off ecstatic to have the opportunity to see Omani life from the inside. I felt (and still feel, don’t get me wrong) so lucky to tread in territory that is often off-limits to expats. I had a goal when I arrived in Oman to attend an Omani wedding… I got more than I bargained for! I have been to two weddings but that’s not all. Family gatherings, barbecues, engagement parties, trips to get henna, and more.
It was amazing to see all this, but after a few weeks of constant Omani events, something hit me. I started to become almost painfully aware of my differences. It is not easy to blend in in Oman. I can sum it up this way: If traveling to Uganda taught me to recognize similarities across cultures, traveling to Oman has made me very aware of dfferences. I don’t mean this is a negative way. There are certainly many similarities between me and the people I am close to here, but these similarities were expected. Maybe I didn’t anticipate so many differences – that’s why they stand out.
Obviously I am not a family member, I don’t know all the customs, and I don’t speak the language. But oddly enough, what I find myself thinking about the most is the fact that my dress is different. Even if I am given an Omani dress to wear, I still don’t feel as though I am blending in. In fact, that makes me stand out even more because everyone gets a good kick out of seeing the American girl wearing Omani dress. After the initial excitement of seeing Omani life, but when I was still pretty new here, I started to really feel like a “tagalong” all the time. No matter what people were actually thinking or saying, I would always hear something like, “Who is this strange person you brought to the party and why is she wearing pants?” (I wore pants rather than a skirt to the first family party I attended and never did it again.)
I think no matter what I was bound to get over this paranoia as I got more familiar with individual family members and they got used to seeing me. Nevertheless, one big change gave a boost to this transformation of thought. The change was: I rented a car! Everyone has places to go and things to do but few people (i.e. the men) drive. [Side note: A great deal of women in Oman do drive; a woman driver is not remarkable. But this is the trend in this particular family.] So with my rental car, I suddenly carved out a niche for myself within the family. Need to go food shopping? Done. KFC for dinner? Done. Need to go somewhere for henna? I’ll be there at 8. For one thing, I could contribute something to the people who have done so much for me. More importantly, I got over the tagalong complex. Now when the someone plans a small visit to the home of a family member (a mother, sister, etc.) with me as the driver, I feel like more than a tagalong; I feel like an integral part of the plan. If I don't go, no one goes! (haha)
Nevertheless, there are still times when I feel like an outsider. I think it is inevitable, especially around the 3 and now 4 month mark of being away from home. I feel that am alternating between feeling like I am fitting in and not fitting in, seeing all my similarities and then all my differences. Overall, though, it is a good balance. I still can’t envision a better experience in Oman!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Hello Again!
I realize I have taken quite a long break from posting. I apologize for that. So much has happened since I last wrote that I don’t know where to begin. I get the ball rolling by posting this link to another blog:
soharaccess.tumblr.com
This "Sohar Access" blog is intended to update any people involved with the program about the activities taking place in Sohar.
Enjoy the pictures and videos!
soharaccess.tumblr.com
This "Sohar Access" blog is intended to update any people involved with the program about the activities taking place in Sohar.
Enjoy the pictures and videos!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
One home with a family on the side, please
In a previous post I alluded that finding a place to call home was a bit of a challenge. Now here I am, writing from my new flat in the outskirts of Sohar where I cannot believe my good fortune.
About a month ago, the principal of my school helped me locate a one-bedroom flat on the compound of a big Omani extended family. After weeks spent planning my move and tackling layers of dirt during the day, I ventured to spend my first night. After coming home that first evening, I was not really sure what to do with myself. As I sat counting spiders and wondering whether I should have considered this problem before deciding to rent the place, I got a knock at the door. It was a few ladies who wanted to say hi. They didn’t speak English but I did my best to greet them kindly. A few minutes later, another knock on the door. It was more ladies, and now some kids. I invited them in, but it was obvious that my little living room and tiny couch was not appropriate for this occasion, so I was invited one of the homes where I got my first taste of the real life of a traditional Omani family.
The ladies are all sisters-in-law. I rent the apartment from their husbands’ father. There are a bunch of kids ranging from 1 to 8. They spend the nights hanging out, talking, and watching TV until 11 or 12 while the men of the family work. (But if the men are not working for some reason, they will hang out, too.) What a tight-knit and affectionate group they are!
The next day, I assumed I was on my own for lunch. About one minute after carefully preparing my specialty – the tuna fish sandwich, – 8-year-old Ahmed appeared at my door with a plate of rice and meat. Ahmed’s mother in particular has taken me under her wing. Now I have lunch sent to me each day and a permanent invitation to her home for dinner. I won’t try to deny I am spoiled. The feel of Oman as changed. Now I have gotten a sense of tradition at a family party where I joined in the ladies’ activities, had some pretty henna done on my hands (which lasted a week), am becoming a pro at eating rice with my hands, and learning to blend in more fashion-wise. I wore a dress today that was given to me by an Omani girl and as soon as I walked into the classroom, I was told that I “became beautiful today.” (“I just became beautiful today, Halima?”)
I like to travel to get a feel for the culture and everyday life in a new place. Up until now, this has proven difficult in Oman. Omani life mostly happens inside the home. If you don’t live in an Omani home, it’s hard to truly know what Omani life is. I believe this is why the expat social network is so strong in Oman (and I have met some incredible expats in Sohar). I am very grateful for the expats I have met, but I would be dissapointed to leave without an Omani network, too. I know people who have lived here for years and have barely interacted with Omanis on a personal level. I have unwittingly found my invitation to “inside”, though, and I am very grateful! The spiders are a small price to pay.
About a month ago, the principal of my school helped me locate a one-bedroom flat on the compound of a big Omani extended family. After weeks spent planning my move and tackling layers of dirt during the day, I ventured to spend my first night. After coming home that first evening, I was not really sure what to do with myself. As I sat counting spiders and wondering whether I should have considered this problem before deciding to rent the place, I got a knock at the door. It was a few ladies who wanted to say hi. They didn’t speak English but I did my best to greet them kindly. A few minutes later, another knock on the door. It was more ladies, and now some kids. I invited them in, but it was obvious that my little living room and tiny couch was not appropriate for this occasion, so I was invited one of the homes where I got my first taste of the real life of a traditional Omani family.
The ladies are all sisters-in-law. I rent the apartment from their husbands’ father. There are a bunch of kids ranging from 1 to 8. They spend the nights hanging out, talking, and watching TV until 11 or 12 while the men of the family work. (But if the men are not working for some reason, they will hang out, too.) What a tight-knit and affectionate group they are!
The next day, I assumed I was on my own for lunch. About one minute after carefully preparing my specialty – the tuna fish sandwich, – 8-year-old Ahmed appeared at my door with a plate of rice and meat. Ahmed’s mother in particular has taken me under her wing. Now I have lunch sent to me each day and a permanent invitation to her home for dinner. I won’t try to deny I am spoiled. The feel of Oman as changed. Now I have gotten a sense of tradition at a family party where I joined in the ladies’ activities, had some pretty henna done on my hands (which lasted a week), am becoming a pro at eating rice with my hands, and learning to blend in more fashion-wise. I wore a dress today that was given to me by an Omani girl and as soon as I walked into the classroom, I was told that I “became beautiful today.” (“I just became beautiful today, Halima?”)
I like to travel to get a feel for the culture and everyday life in a new place. Up until now, this has proven difficult in Oman. Omani life mostly happens inside the home. If you don’t live in an Omani home, it’s hard to truly know what Omani life is. I believe this is why the expat social network is so strong in Oman (and I have met some incredible expats in Sohar). I am very grateful for the expats I have met, but I would be dissapointed to leave without an Omani network, too. I know people who have lived here for years and have barely interacted with Omanis on a personal level. I have unwittingly found my invitation to “inside”, though, and I am very grateful! The spiders are a small price to pay.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Being a Teacher
I haven’t writen in a while and during the hiatus, I’ve taught 3 ½ weeks of English classes with a weeklong break in the middle. I teach boys on Saturday and Monday evenings and girls on Sunday and Tuesday evenings (and I don’t plan on ever getting used to this work week). Each class lasts 3 hours… a long time to keep 14 year olds focused. Each class has 20 students and each student has received a scholarship (funded by the US State Department) to be in the progam.
Everyone anticipated a difference in the ability of the boys and girls and this difference really does exist. The girls soar far ahead of the boys! I can speculate a few social causes for this difference but maybe that is beyond the scope of this particular blog post. For now, I will stick to my own experience:
Working with the girls is legitimately fun. I always leave with some pep in my step after making it through a whole lesson plan, successfully testing complex new games (crowd favorite = alibi), and actually getting giggles after stupid jokes. When I feel like entertaining myself, I give the girls a writing assignment. Once, I had them shout 10 interesting words or people and then create funny stories using 5 of those words. Spongebob, Harry Potter, and Tom Cruise were among the list. A surprising addition was “emo.” I didn’t think I heard correctly, so I asked them to describe the word. “You know, Teacher, in your country, there are some people who dress in all black…” Here is what one group came up with:
And here is another describing a picture I dug up of Doug (Funny… remember that show?) and his family (I thought these zany characters would be a good springboard for descripive words….):
I usually leave the boys’ classroom with a distinctly different feeling. I learned the boys’ names more quickly than the girls’ and I think one reason is that every minute (or maybe five if I’m lucky), I have the opportunity to shout a chatty person’s name, sometimes repeatedly. As any teacher should know, repetiton is good for memorization. The boys are not actually bad kids – just following their 14-year-old boy instincts, I think. Plus, a lack of English skills makes it understandably difficult to follow instructions from an English-speaking teacher. But behavior has gotten better with time and warnings. The main lesson I have learned is to count things and keep records. All I need to do is write a person’s name on the board with a “+1” and all of a sudden everyone wants to impress me to get his “+1.” For now, I think it’s better if I don’t tell them that the points don’t count for anything.
So all in all, I am really enjoying teaching, despite its expected challenges. On another positive note, the students have a one-week break at the end of January to study for exams, so I have a break too. Another Access instructor and I booked a trip to Cairo in Egypt! Can’t wait!
Everyone anticipated a difference in the ability of the boys and girls and this difference really does exist. The girls soar far ahead of the boys! I can speculate a few social causes for this difference but maybe that is beyond the scope of this particular blog post. For now, I will stick to my own experience:
Working with the girls is legitimately fun. I always leave with some pep in my step after making it through a whole lesson plan, successfully testing complex new games (crowd favorite = alibi), and actually getting giggles after stupid jokes. When I feel like entertaining myself, I give the girls a writing assignment. Once, I had them shout 10 interesting words or people and then create funny stories using 5 of those words. Spongebob, Harry Potter, and Tom Cruise were among the list. A surprising addition was “emo.” I didn’t think I heard correctly, so I asked them to describe the word. “You know, Teacher, in your country, there are some people who dress in all black…” Here is what one group came up with:
And here is another describing a picture I dug up of Doug (Funny… remember that show?) and his family (I thought these zany characters would be a good springboard for descripive words….):
I usually leave the boys’ classroom with a distinctly different feeling. I learned the boys’ names more quickly than the girls’ and I think one reason is that every minute (or maybe five if I’m lucky), I have the opportunity to shout a chatty person’s name, sometimes repeatedly. As any teacher should know, repetiton is good for memorization. The boys are not actually bad kids – just following their 14-year-old boy instincts, I think. Plus, a lack of English skills makes it understandably difficult to follow instructions from an English-speaking teacher. But behavior has gotten better with time and warnings. The main lesson I have learned is to count things and keep records. All I need to do is write a person’s name on the board with a “+1” and all of a sudden everyone wants to impress me to get his “+1.” For now, I think it’s better if I don’t tell them that the points don’t count for anything.
So all in all, I am really enjoying teaching, despite its expected challenges. On another positive note, the students have a one-week break at the end of January to study for exams, so I have a break too. Another Access instructor and I booked a trip to Cairo in Egypt! Can’t wait!
Monday, December 27, 2010
An Omani Christmas
To all the Christians out there and everyone else who just loves a reason to celebrate, Merry Christmas!
Christmas in a foreign country was an interesting experience. Oman is not just a foreign country but also a hot and sunny country and a Muslim country. Celebrating in the absence of most of the traditional cues of Christmas – cold, snow, Christmas carols, Christmas lights, crazy shoppers, etc. – forces you to think about what is really most important about this holiday. Here are the answers I came up with:
Family. Over the course of three carefully timed phone calls I spoke to no less than 30 individual family members! Even though these were short conversations, it was more than enough to remind myself what a blessing it is to have people caring about you no matter where you are.
Friends. I spent this Christmas with AIESEC friends. What is interesting about AIESEC is that when you are with a group of AIESEC interns, it is unlikely that two people are from the same country. Coming from very different parts of the world (China, Poland, Uganda, Cameroon…), I am sure we each had a unique image of the typical Christmas. But regardless of what we were comparing it to, there was no doubt that this one different. We were all equally determined to have an enjoyable Christmas and helped each other do just that.
Giving. We went to the souq to do some shopping on Christmas Day. I bought small trinkets for the people I was with. Nothing big, but this was enough to make it feel like Christmas to me!
Being together. With phones and internet at our disposal, physical proximity is not the only way to feel close to people. In fact, when you need to be a little creative to show people you care about them, it only makes you realize more than before what is important to you.
Tradition. I did not take part in most of my own traditions, but I did try new ones. For example, on Christmas Eve, I learned a Polish tradition that involves sharing pieces of a “Christmas wafer” (oplatek) and greeting each person around you one by one. Taking part in any tradition, familiar or unfamiliar, makes a holiday feel like a holiday.
I hope you all enjoyed Christmas and/or your respective holidays and that you are looking forward to the New Year! Cheers!
One of these sharks made a delicious Christmas Eve lunch.
Christmas Day at the yacht club.
Irene and I were excited to find a Christmas tree!
I never thought would hang out on a beach at Christmas!
Christmas in a foreign country was an interesting experience. Oman is not just a foreign country but also a hot and sunny country and a Muslim country. Celebrating in the absence of most of the traditional cues of Christmas – cold, snow, Christmas carols, Christmas lights, crazy shoppers, etc. – forces you to think about what is really most important about this holiday. Here are the answers I came up with:
Family. Over the course of three carefully timed phone calls I spoke to no less than 30 individual family members! Even though these were short conversations, it was more than enough to remind myself what a blessing it is to have people caring about you no matter where you are.
Friends. I spent this Christmas with AIESEC friends. What is interesting about AIESEC is that when you are with a group of AIESEC interns, it is unlikely that two people are from the same country. Coming from very different parts of the world (China, Poland, Uganda, Cameroon…), I am sure we each had a unique image of the typical Christmas. But regardless of what we were comparing it to, there was no doubt that this one different. We were all equally determined to have an enjoyable Christmas and helped each other do just that.
Giving. We went to the souq to do some shopping on Christmas Day. I bought small trinkets for the people I was with. Nothing big, but this was enough to make it feel like Christmas to me!
Being together. With phones and internet at our disposal, physical proximity is not the only way to feel close to people. In fact, when you need to be a little creative to show people you care about them, it only makes you realize more than before what is important to you.
Tradition. I did not take part in most of my own traditions, but I did try new ones. For example, on Christmas Eve, I learned a Polish tradition that involves sharing pieces of a “Christmas wafer” (oplatek) and greeting each person around you one by one. Taking part in any tradition, familiar or unfamiliar, makes a holiday feel like a holiday.
I hope you all enjoyed Christmas and/or your respective holidays and that you are looking forward to the New Year! Cheers!
One of these sharks made a delicious Christmas Eve lunch.
Christmas Day at the yacht club.
Irene and I were excited to find a Christmas tree!
I never thought would hang out on a beach at Christmas!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
One Day at a Time
In the United States, we are accustomed to very regular and predictable schedules. Living in a foreign country involves dropping this expectation. I can attempt to illustrate this point through road closings and holidays.
My arrival happened to coincide with a visit from the Queen of England. The problem was that this involved periodic and unpredicatable road closings for a few hours each day to allow the queen, the sultan, and other comrades to pass through. Since there is one main highway running through Muscat and dividing the city in half, this is a big deal. For my first few days, the time I left work was dictated by the road closings. More importantly, the decision to conduct or cancel English classes at AMIDEAST was based upon the state of the roads. If classes were cancelled, the decision was spur of the moment – no more than a day in advance and as little as a few hours. As far as I can tell, this ambiguity is no big deal for students.
If the road closings did not create confusion enough, add in the holidays. Three major holidays have affected the work schedule since I arrived. They are Eid, National Day, and the Islamic New Year. Eid started and finished before I got here. This year, Eid coincided with National Day, a holiday to honor Sultan Qaboos and the Sultanate of Oman, so celebrations were postponed. National Day is generally celebrated on the sultan’s birthday, November 18. Sultan Qaboos bin Said began his rule on July 23, 1970, after his father, Sultan Said bin Taimur, was overthrown. Since then, the country has undergone a remarkable period of development. This year marks a landmark – the 40th National Day – and this holiday is no joke! All the streets are strung with lights (picture the States at Christmas), there are small, large, and giant Omani flags everywhere, and cars are painted green, red and white. For weeks, kids have left school early to practice for National Day demonstrations. In the United States you may expect to go out and see a basketball game on in a bar, but around here lately, you may see, for example, the entire Omani military marching around a stadium, with the sultan solemnly looking on from the stands.
Right now, it is the Islamic New Year. Because the Islamic calendar is a few days shorter than the Gregorian calendar, this holiday does not fall on the same day each year. Instead, it is dictated by the location of moon. It was recently declared that Tuesday (yesterday) through Saturday is a holiday for the public sector. But up until a couple days ago, since there was no telling exactly when the crescent moon would be visible, these day off were not guaranteed. After much speculation and anticipation, people are now enjoying their breaks.
One implication for me is that the start date of our Access Program has been pushed from December 11 to December 13. This is actually a huge relief as it gives me two extra days to find a place to live! (This is a topic for another post which, Insha'Allah, will be a very positive report.)
The unpredictable work schedule can be kind of a hassle, but on the bright side, there is a rumor circulating that December 25-December 29 will be declared a national holiday (a “National Week” to celebrate Oman – why not?). It looks like Christmas break is a real possibility!
My arrival happened to coincide with a visit from the Queen of England. The problem was that this involved periodic and unpredicatable road closings for a few hours each day to allow the queen, the sultan, and other comrades to pass through. Since there is one main highway running through Muscat and dividing the city in half, this is a big deal. For my first few days, the time I left work was dictated by the road closings. More importantly, the decision to conduct or cancel English classes at AMIDEAST was based upon the state of the roads. If classes were cancelled, the decision was spur of the moment – no more than a day in advance and as little as a few hours. As far as I can tell, this ambiguity is no big deal for students.
If the road closings did not create confusion enough, add in the holidays. Three major holidays have affected the work schedule since I arrived. They are Eid, National Day, and the Islamic New Year. Eid started and finished before I got here. This year, Eid coincided with National Day, a holiday to honor Sultan Qaboos and the Sultanate of Oman, so celebrations were postponed. National Day is generally celebrated on the sultan’s birthday, November 18. Sultan Qaboos bin Said began his rule on July 23, 1970, after his father, Sultan Said bin Taimur, was overthrown. Since then, the country has undergone a remarkable period of development. This year marks a landmark – the 40th National Day – and this holiday is no joke! All the streets are strung with lights (picture the States at Christmas), there are small, large, and giant Omani flags everywhere, and cars are painted green, red and white. For weeks, kids have left school early to practice for National Day demonstrations. In the United States you may expect to go out and see a basketball game on in a bar, but around here lately, you may see, for example, the entire Omani military marching around a stadium, with the sultan solemnly looking on from the stands.
Right now, it is the Islamic New Year. Because the Islamic calendar is a few days shorter than the Gregorian calendar, this holiday does not fall on the same day each year. Instead, it is dictated by the location of moon. It was recently declared that Tuesday (yesterday) through Saturday is a holiday for the public sector. But up until a couple days ago, since there was no telling exactly when the crescent moon would be visible, these day off were not guaranteed. After much speculation and anticipation, people are now enjoying their breaks.
One implication for me is that the start date of our Access Program has been pushed from December 11 to December 13. This is actually a huge relief as it gives me two extra days to find a place to live! (This is a topic for another post which, Insha'Allah, will be a very positive report.)
The unpredictable work schedule can be kind of a hassle, but on the bright side, there is a rumor circulating that December 25-December 29 will be declared a national holiday (a “National Week” to celebrate Oman – why not?). It looks like Christmas break is a real possibility!
Friday, December 3, 2010
An Exquisite Landscape
I arrived in Muscat on a Saturday night and on Sunday morning I started work. Until Thursday, my knowledge of Muscat was largely limited to whatever you can see out the car window between home and work. Thursday and Friday marked the weekend (the weekday is Saturday-Wednesday here) and luckily I got a chance to do some sight seeing. Between yesterday and today, I saw two of the most luxurious resorts in Oman (who knew 6-star hotels even existed), the sultan’s palace, a souq (market) in Muscat, and the Wadi Shab - one of the most beautiful and worthwhile destinations I've ever been to. The wadi is roughly like the Grand Canyon but with water cutting through the middle. I happened to wear my “Ithaca is Gorges” shirt today, so I naturally compared the wadi to the Ithaca gorges. We hiked over rocks and then swam to a small water-filled cave complete with a waterfall inside. I got a taste of Omani hospitality when a generous guy offered to be our “tour guide.” He was fantastic and made sure we enjoyed the cave to its full potential. This involved climbing up over some rocks and then jumping back in the water from a pretty decent height. For any Cornell readers, this was like gorge jumping in closed quarters. I was convinced to jump while holding hands with our impromptu guide. I figured that if I could not jump I did not deserve to continue wearing my Ithaca is Gorges shirt. Overall, the past two days have been great for seeing the absolutely gorgeous scenery of Oman. With mountains, beaches, and even a bit of greenery, Oman has all the elements you could hope to see in a landscape!
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